My baby is 2 months old! I can't believe how fast the time has gone, and how much he has grown. He's now smiling at us regularly, rolling from his tummy to his back, "talking" to us and balding. Yup, he's losing that gorgeous hair he had when he was born. Don't worry though, there are already little baby hairs coming back in.
He's sleeping in his bouncy chair right now after a rough night. I woke up several times to him choking on drainage. Then he would get super frustrated and scream, poor baby. I usually don't get to rock him to sleep, he's kind of the independent type and usually falls asleep faster if we just lay him down. But last night he wanted his mommy, I just ate it up!
I've had a really rough couple of weeks. I won't go into it all right now, I could probably write an entire book on it. I hate being back at work, period. Also, I feel like I'm at a phase in my life when people feel the need to give free advice. While I don't mind it, I wish sometimes that they would be a little bit more sensitive to my feelings when they impose their opinions on me. I've had several people tell me how I should be staying at home with the little man. Shot to the heart. (For all the BonJovi fans out there). I want to be at home, my heart longs for this, Dan and I are working towards this goal. However, it's just not possible at this time. But every time someone else tells me that I need to stay home (without even asking how I feel about it first) my heart breaks all over again, it's like I've been slapped in the face. Guilt takes over and I've been reduced to weeping several times. Not to say that a working mom is a bad thing either, I know several women who can balance both very well. While I want to be home full time, or atleast part time, I know this is not what is best for our family right now. So, in the meantime, I would love your prayers. Just that I would learn how to balance being a mommy, taking care of the house and work all at once. Okay, sorry for the rant.
Also, if you don't follow MckMama, you should check it out. And then pray! I've spent a lot of time this week praying for this sweet little boy while I'm staring into the eyes of my own.
Okay, that's enough randomness for now. I'm going to catch a little nap while the little man is napping. Hope you guys have a wonderful weekend. And stay tuned for my upcoming post entitled "Pondering Pumping," it'll be good, I promise :o)
6 comments:
That's so ugly when people impose opinions like that on others. I try hard to keep things to myself and I'm sorry you've had to experience this. Another friend of mine was also told she should be staying home over and over by a neighbor but it wasn't right for their family at the time. I'm proud of you and Dan for thinking and praying about the decision and doing what you feel God has for your family now. Spencer obviously still knows you love him, wanting his mommy when he's sick! :)
Not completely related to your specific issue, but Stef posted an entry recently that mentioned the opinions of others. She wrote it somewhat in response to a blog entry I had written. I think people mean well, but I do wish they would think before they spoke... Sometimes silence or understanding are much more encouraging and helpful than voicing a flat opinion that's severely lacking in perspective. I am continually praying for you, as I can see the struggle you must be dealing with. You are wise in working toward a specific goal, and I wish those who have been talking to you could open their eyes just a little wider to see that you're simply doing what is best for your family. May He show you an extra measure of grace, affirming that what you and Dan are doing right is wise and will have long-term benefits. I commend you for not being narrow-minded about your current circumstances, as difficult as it may be when you get to spend that sweet time with your little man.
Love you, friend (and I didn't mean to write so much!)
I know there is only so much encouragement that can be felt against such strong inclinations to be home with your baby when it's not realistically possible, but let me attempt by saying it gets easier. Yes, the comments of others will invoke pain, and yes, when your baby begins noticing when you are absent and crawls after you, crying, as you're dropping him off at daycare, your heart will feel the pain of being torn away from your child against either of your wills. No, we don't always understand why this is what God is allowing us to experience, but we are certain of His Sovereignty.
Let me reassure you that you and Spencer are learning through this what God wants you to learn in preparation for the future. He's molding you into His image, and for whatever reason, He says this situation at this time is necessary.
I would also like for you to know that because Sophia has been in daycare since she was 3 months old (she is now almost 2!), she adjusts SO well to change. A lot of parents have children that don't adjust well to changing classes, getting new teachers, having a different schedule from one day to the next, travelling, and other unanticipated events. But Sophia has never had this problem, and her teachers love her all the more for it. Being an only child, Sophia also learns SO much from being around the other kids; this is something I noticed more during the pre-toddler phase forward rather than in infancy. I don't know what God has in store for Sophia that she needed to be in daycare for so many years longer than I originally anticipated, but I find strength on the tough days in remembering that I am submitting myself and my daughter to His greater plan. I hope you find encouragement in some of this.
And just so you know, this works the opposite way as well, at least for me: when I am dropping Sophia off at daycare and she gives me a hug, stands back and says "Bye, Momma", and turns around to her toys and teachers, I am SO proud and happy.
Feeling your pain - being a mommy opens you up to lots of advice! Especially being a new mommay! Do what is best for you and your family and hang in there!
he is beautiful!
You are amazing Eryn, and always know that the feelings you have are shared my many other mommies out there!! I have been in your footsteps, and I completely understand your frustrations. God is faithful, and HE knows our hearts...and Spencer will always be in His hands. Hang in there, and know that you are being lifted up in prayer always! I love your blog!
Ok, who do I need to beat up? Im ready, girl...I got your back!
I know, that wasn't the most "Christian-like" response, but I am happy to "bear your burdens" anytime! :0)
Love you, you are a GREAT mommy!
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